Asteya: "Comparison is the Thief of Joy"

Asteya, or nonstealing, is the third of the Yamas. (Learn about the Yamas, the first of the Eight Limbs of Yoga, in my previous blog post: Grow your Yoga Practice by Understanding the Eight Limbs of Yoga).

While we often think of stealing as taking an object that does not rightfully belong to us from someone else, Asteya or nonstealing is so much more. We steal from others when we choose not to listen to their stories but turn the conversation to our own stories, accomplishments, or views and we steal from ourselves when we allow external expectations to dictate our own understanding and definition of self.

I, personally, find this Yama especially difficult to practice given the nature of our society and its emphasis on accomplishments and success. I've always been in high stress environments and surrounded myself with high-achieving individuals. Unfortunately, rather than being grateful for the opportunity to learn from higher-achieving individuals around me and for the career opportunities and exposure to different learning experiences that these high-stress environments have afforded me, I have spent much of my energy focused on those around me rather than on bettering myself.

As I look back on my life experiences, I've realized that this focus on the world and the people around me, rather than building my own competence and focusing on building my own capabilities, has only led to negative emotions and impact even through positive outcomes.

When I would compare myself to others and see myself as inferior I would experience jealousy, discontent, and a loss of confidence in myself and my abilities and during the few times that I would see myself as superior, I would experience ego, arrogance, and blindness to reality.

If I had been practicing Asteya in each of these situations, I would have been more focused on looking inward and finding my own joy and a way to overcome my own individual challenges by building my talents and skills.

If I had been more focused on creating value through my skills and individuality rather than succumbing to jealousy or arrogance, I would have been serving my world rather than stealing from myself and those around me.

Asteya asks us to live a life of gratitude, integrity, and reciprocity and it guides us to do so by changing our perspective and our approach to life. For instance, to ensure we aren't stealing from others, we must focus on being present in our interactions by listening and asking more questions rather than making the interaction about us, our stories, and our views. We can also give rather than steal from others by leaving each interaction with more than we gained.

Think back to the last conversation you had, did you offer a smile, a sincere compliment, or a helpful suggestion after listening and asking questions?

My practice of Asteya is still a work in progress and one that I continue to practice each and everyday. I invite you to join me as I continue to work on giving more to those around me, treating my world with more respect, and staying true to my own definition of self rather than continually comparing myself to others.